Clint and I hit Fruit & Spice Park today. It was empty and rainy and there were lots of fruit on the ground. We were eating our way down the mango isle, when we came across the notorious Donkey Killer mango.
Clint, protector of animals large and small, tried to convince Donkey Killer of the error of its donkey killing ways. Donkey Killer lost control of its anger and dropped mangos on Clint with intent to kill. Clint was forced to resort to donkey violence to escape the clutches of this dastardly tree.
After tempers cooled down, Clint spoke again to Donkey Killer. Donkey Killer expressed remorse and offered an apology, promising to never kill again. Donkey Killer had turned a new leaf and offered a gift to Clint, a ripe mango. Clint accepted the offering. Even though he was stuffed from all the mangos we had eaten previously, he didn’t want to chance offending Donkey Killer and spoil the wonderful progress. Clint took a bite of Donkey Killer’s gift.
Unfortunately for Clint, Donkey Killer mango gift was poisoned (and tasted horrible). Within seconds of taking that fateful bite, Clint fell to the ground. Attempts of Jakfruit resuscitation failed. He was pronounced at the site by Chris Rollins.
Donkey Killer mango is on the run. If you see a 9 foot mango tree with a silver tag, last seen driving away in a white Ford pickup truck with Miami-Dade County decals, please call the police. Do not try to apprehend this criminal yourself. It is producing bad tasting mango and considered dangerous.