My planting plans have really rearranged a lot, thanks to all of your suggestions!
I had no idea that fig trees were so dangerous! I've touched fig sap once, but was fortunate that nothing bad happened. My wife and I love fresh figs, so we will try to grow several varietals anyway, but that's seriously good to know.
It's also really good to know that the feijoa doesn't fruit when trimmed to a hedge!
I've had the quince and ugni (red and black) in mind for a while now. The Ugnis are a really nice thought; they don't grow particularly tall at all.
Just last night, I found that honeyberry varieties have really grown quite a lot, and many varieties are supposed to be quite good for raw eating:
http://www.honeyberryusa.com. Even better, they really only grow to ~5' tall, so they should be pretty easy to keep under control. So, I'm thinking a honeyberry hedge should work fairly well
.