Wow just when I complained so much just like all my Jewish Neighboors in the hood, the dam tree listen to my rantings! The huge rain flood in my backyard for the last week or so and the Swedish Sauna heat that inagurated in commencement of our Hurricaine season; I was outside today Preparing for Hurricanes before I leave in Late August for storming Florida for a President candidate!
As I move a high end slightly Victorian Era rusty redneck ornament (a spend Weber grill) sitting under my firm flesh rollinia chelating its iron since Hurricain Wilma in 2006 next to our Fable Whitman Fiberless, a mysterious overipen plop onto the paver in front of me, a Whitman Fiberless soursop. How in creation did I miscounted a dirty dozen fruit on tree. How did I miscounted it.
I didnt think it would ripe soo soon since my last post. So I tear apart the gravity challenged brown fruit and stuff my face with Manna Bread from Heaven! The fruit orgy was sadly misguided as the noted flesh were sweet and delectable relic like past summer heat fruit with flavor of mangosteen and pineapple and banana, but this time a slightly bitter high quality limburger taste almost impossible to wrap my mind around, until I look down on the fruit and saw some rats or mouse dropping on the fruit see second foto at top next to seeds! Oh got I have written some of the most shittiest posts here in the past but this literary have taken the icing of the cake!😝 💩 I am going to cry!🤒😭
I ran inside an down almost a whole bottle of Remy Martin; the all purpose Native American Medicine only this Shaman know its magical Bureau of Indian affairs elixir!
Now as most grower of soursop know, when they ripening it is like a stampede of Bisons falling down the cliff; so I was lazy to haul over my ten foot ladder due to being under the Influence of Remy Martin XO!🤕
Like a Ninja, I leap onto the seven feet wall next to my Whitman fiberless small seed strain seedling using the sapling as a leverage to launch this bushido into notoriety!
The Whitman Fiberless tree was next to the concrete bunker wall and I scale the 30 feet fruit pyramid to the top and feel which fruit was soft at the top;
As My Remy Martin XO gave me super human strength so did its evil isomer gave me delusion as I reach the top and grab a fruit that is soft but the stem wont give break easily and the tree top pendulum me between Heaven or Hell.
I hung on for dear life for those four second I think as my life brought me full circle, to war in combat time; my time on Earth seem to slow down in three second that seem to feel a lifetime. I was content with brush of death for the seven time but I did not feel the hand of my partner the Grim Reaper next to me as the tree pendulum me closer to terra incognita as my Remy Martin XO blood vessels wont release my hand hold from the tree top. At the gate of Hell I felt a rumbling force within me as I pendulum back and you can hear the fart heard around the world propelling me with providence toward the wall and one greedy hand with the fruit while the other hand the neighbor gutter behind the tree.
At this time I want to pause and thank those UFO Aliens👽👽👽👽that blind my tent with their flying saucer in the Boundary Canoe Area of Minnesota and gave this college student an unmentionable probe that lead to my excessive flatulence year later, may the fart be with you.
When I wokeup from my abbreviated intoxication, went over to Frank and Diana with the perfectly ripen fruit later in the afternoon and as you can see! Diana told Frank to kill her Cuban Fiberless ( the last bottom foto fruit)!and replace it with Whitman Fiberless tree. Frank woof his down and offer me his cuban fiberless but I declined after years of eating caviar, the Cuban fiberless taste like paddlefish egg and Whitman Fiberless Sweet soursop a class on its own; Almas Persian Caviar!
The Moral to this story is this, life is full of shit, its what you make of it that blossom and fruit! Dont Drink And Climb TREE even if you are a Shinobi Sensei!
