I worried about this for a LONG time. I enjoy collecting fig trees, and the trees of the genus ficus are notorious for destroying property. However, I since learned that the size of the roots is generally proportional to the size of the canopy. That is, if you prune your plant in the spring to a small size every year, the tree won’t be able to form massive property damaging roots. There may be several sources to teach you how to do this, but the one that I particularly enjoyed was a book called “grow a little fruit tree.” It generally shows you how to force a tall tree to grow like more of a short bush.
Cases where this strategy won’t work are fruiting trees from seed that require a huge size before fruiting, such as marula.