Author Topic: Caught Fruit Thief In Trap... What To Do With Him? (Read 1811 times)

Kevin Jones · « **on:** March 14, 2021, 05:33:55 PM »

Fruit out of my orchard kept disappearing overnight. I finally got tired of it and dug a Tiger Pit Trap.
15 feet deep with vertical sides. Covered with bamboo and leaves. Caught my first fruit thief last night.
He's lucky I decided against punji stakes... so he's just trapped... not injured.
I live in a college town with a lot of college students and sure enough this is one of the local frat boys.
So what should I do with him?

Kevin

Epicatt2 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 14, 2021, 06:14:51 PM »

Feed him that same fruit non-stop 'til he finally gags and never wants another!

Or maybe instead sue him for the value of the lost fruit.

Solamente mis dos granitos de arena . . .

PM
==

palmcity · « **Reply #2 on:** March 14, 2021, 06:35:18 PM »

Quote from: Kevin Jones on March 14, 2021, 05:33:55 PM

dug a Tiger Pit Trap.
15 feet deep with vertical sides. Covered with bamboo and leaves. Caught my first fruit thief last night.

I live in a college town............... a local frat boys.
So what should I do with him?
Kevin

It sounds like a local Elephant Trap made by a Tiger.... Perhaps play a war eagle cry over & over for the next 24 hours, or better replay many of these https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQxSSayJOWsay this video over & over:::
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCzEEE129SE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLO2SmM9gPw

345 desoto · « **Reply #3 on:** March 14, 2021, 06:58:01 PM »

Fill the hole back in...

bovine421 · « **Reply #4 on:** March 14, 2021, 07:13:55 PM »

Take his cell phone from him and give him a transistor AM radio with a broken antenna. See if he can fine-tune it.
Only if you had a rotary phone and had him call home like ET

K-Rimes · « **Reply #5 on:** March 14, 2021, 07:19:03 PM »

Quote from: Kevin Jones on March 14, 2021, 05:33:55 PM

Fruit out of my orchard kept disappearing overnight. I finally got tired of it and dug a Tiger Pit Trap.
15 feet deep with vertical sides. Covered with bamboo and leaves. Caught my first fruit thief last night.
He's lucky I decided against punji stakes... so he's just trapped... not injured.
I live in a college town with a lot of college students and sure enough this is one of the local frat boys.
So what should I do with him?

Kevin

This is amazing - photo of the trap / pit please!

bsbullie · « **Reply #6 on:** March 14, 2021, 07:25:39 PM »

Shoot him

lebmung · « **Reply #7 on:** March 14, 2021, 07:43:09 PM »

Call buffalo bob https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC3GLk4sX8s

Kevin Jones · « **Reply #8 on:** March 14, 2021, 08:06:18 PM »

I went out this afternoon and took some drone footage... here's a still:

Looks like he has a bag full of stolen fruit to sustain him for awhile...
He seems OK for now... but the yelling and crying is getting a little annoying.

Kevin

Oncorhynchus · « **Reply #9 on:** March 14, 2021, 08:28:01 PM »

Quote from: Kevin Jones on March 14, 2021, 05:33:55 PM

I live in a college town with a lot of college students and sure enough this is one of the local frat boys.

When I lived in the north west we would burry little cups of beer in the ground and slugs would crawl in and drown themselves. I think the same principle should work here, just scale it up.

W. · « **Reply #10 on:** March 14, 2021, 08:51:57 PM »

Quote from: Kevin Jones on March 14, 2021, 05:33:55 PM

Fruit out of my orchard kept disappearing overnight. I finally got tired of it and dug a Tiger Pit Trap.
15 feet deep with vertical sides. Covered with bamboo and leaves. Caught my first fruit thief last night.
He's lucky I decided against punji stakes... so he's just trapped... not injured.
I live in a college town with a lot of college students and sure enough this is one of the local frat boys.
So what should I do with him?

Kevin

The question is not "what to do with him?" but rather "what can you legally do with him?" I think here in Alabama, a judge would be amenable to you applying the Code of Hammurabi to such an issue, "If anyone break a hole into a house (break in to steal), he shall be put to death before that hole and be buried." Start shoveling. In a few years, he will break down and make excellent fertilizer.

Jabba The Hutt · « **Reply #11 on:** March 14, 2021, 11:50:17 PM »

You guys are getting freaky in here... I say just send down a basket of lotion and stand at the top rubbing your pectoral down with oil

zands · « **Reply #12 on:** March 15, 2021, 02:00:04 AM »

You are only in trouble if this is some kind of Trans-Frat boy. I would let him stay down in the hole until

Mike T · « **Reply #13 on:** March 15, 2021, 04:56:11 AM »

I presume by now he has been tied naked to a pole in the town with a liberal application of honey and feathers. Its a practice called fraternising.

bovine421 · « **Reply #14 on:** March 15, 2021, 05:28:30 AM »

It seems as though the rat that was captured on another thread received much more compassion and sympathy.
I will notify the Okeechobee milk maiden and the Holopaw possum queen that you have a live one.

Jabba The Hutt · « **Reply #15 on:** March 15, 2021, 10:06:39 AM »

Quote from: zands on March 15, 2021, 02:00:04 AM

You are only in trouble if this is some kind of Trans-Frat boy. I would let him stay down in the hole until

Until what?!?!? The suspense is killing me

If the lotion in the basket and oiling of your pectoral muscles isn't enough to traumatize them, try mentioning that you could really use a new lamp shade made from human skin

nattyfroootz · « **Reply #16 on:** March 15, 2021, 10:49:59 AM »

Are you near Mar a Lago?

Galatians522 · « **Reply #17 on:** March 15, 2021, 07:11:04 PM »

You might try Phil Robertson's method. He claims that it works surprisingly well.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DPdwHSmrBadw&ved=2ahUKEwjH6-uRtbPvAhWv1FkKHQItD20Q28sGMAB6BAgDEA0&usg=AOvVaw23a4hpgVRUj3OGMycZQph6

W. · « **Reply #18 on:** March 17, 2021, 09:52:57 AM »

We never got an update from Kevin about what he did with his fruit thief. Either he hasn't decided what to do with him, or he is having too much fun doing what he decided to do to him.

Bush2Beach · « **Reply #19 on:** March 17, 2021, 02:58:08 PM »

As long as it made that other stupid thread about what do I do with a rat in a cage die, who cares!
What do I do with a mango in my hand, durp.

Kevin Jones · « **Reply #20 on:** March 18, 2021, 10:31:00 AM »

Turns out this was one of those wild, free-range frat boys.
So under state law I'm not allowed to trap them... even though they are causing significant damage to my crops.
His phone battery had long gone dead and he was totally lost and confused.... practically comatose.
The vet said it was a classic case of phone/text withdrawal and put him on a course of twitter transfusions and Ubered him to the nearest frat house for recuperation. Just in time for Spring Break.... their migration season.
At least now I have a nice sized planting hole for my next tree.
Thanks for the input!

Kevin

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Author Topic: Caught Fruit Thief In Trap... What To Do With Him? (Read 1811 times)